How One Sydney Mum is Rebuilding the Culture of Courtship for Modern Christian Singles

Jessica Santosa Carlton: Revolutionising Christian Dating with Faith, Strategy, and Wisdom

NATIONWIDE - OCTOBER 2025 - (USAnews.com) — In a world dominated by confusing sex-first situationships and de facto partnerships, Jessica Santosa Carlton is boldly redefining what it means to date as a Christian. As the founder and Christian Dating Coach & Matchmaker at DATEABILITY, Jessica has built a bridge between modern dating realities and the timeless principles of faith, bringing emotional maturity, discernment, and Romantic Intelligence back into Christian relationships.

For over a decade, Jessica has helped hundreds of singles build romantic confidence, emotional maturity, and marriages that reflect biblical values. Unlike many modern dating coaches who focus on psychology or surface-level compatibility, Jessica’s approach integrates biblical wisdom, emotional intelligence, and God’s design for male and female to offer a holistic framework for Christian courtship.

“I’m here to insert shrewdness back into Christian dating,” Jessica says. “It’s about more than just meeting someone, it's about training your discernment muscle so you can recognise true love, not just attraction. At the end of the day it’s about the legacy we leave. You want to stay madly in love with the man or woman you married and had babies with. Forever.”

The Unapologetic Mission of DATEABILITY

DATEABILITY is a faith-based dating and matchmaking service designed to help Christian men and women build relationships that are rooted in intention, purpose, and faith. Through her Romantic Intelligence 101 program, Jessica equips Christian women to approach dating with prayer, integrity, and wisdom, empowering them to date intelligently rather than succumbing to the world’s dating trends.

Her work has garnered national attention, recently featured in a vlog by popular YouTube influencer Jamie Zhu, which has now reached over 16K views on YouTube. Through this feature, Jessica’s unique blend of faith-based matchmaking and relationship wisdom has captured the interest of a broader, mainstream audience. She’s shown that Christians can reject hookup culture and rediscover the beauty of purpose-driven courtship and covenant marriages.

For Jessica, the goal is clear: restore hope in marriage and help believers form families that honour God and bless future generations.

A Radical Approach to Christian Dating: "Romantic Intelligence"

What makes Jessica’s coaching and matchmaking service stand out is her emphasis on Romantic Intelligence, a concept that goes far beyond the typical relationship advice. “Romantic Intelligence is about training your discernment muscle, not just your dating profile,” she explains. “You don’t need another situationship – you need the spiritual and emotional maturity to recognise safe strength especially when it comes in an awkward package. Most women are not passing this maturity test. Most men who come to me are just grateful for women who reply to their messages!”

Jessica’s unique approach bridges biblical principles with practical dating strategies, guiding Christian singles to date prayerfully, intelligently, and with integrity. She helps them build a deep emotional connection to themselves, their faith, and their future partner. Through her programs and coaching, singles aren’t just finding love, they are learning how to foster sustainable, covenant-based marriages.

Romantic Intelligence is more than just a tool for dating; it’s about developing the emotional resilience and spiritual maturity that can withstand the pressures of modern dating. Jessica’s clients learn to vet wisely, approach relationships with purpose, and build a foundation for a marriage that aligns with biblical convictions.

Challenging the Status Quo: Jessica’s Approach to Masculine and Feminine Energy

Jessica’s methods aren’t without controversy. Some of her teachings, particularly on flirting and feminine energy, have raised eyebrows among traditionalists. But Jessica isn’t afraid to be bold in her mission. She believes that many Christian women stay single longer than they need to because they’ve been taught to suppress their feminine energy or avoid dating in a way that aligns with their faith.

“Modern dating has turned self-protection into a personality,” Jessica notes. “Everyone’s obsessed with not needing anyone, but love requires risk. The goal isn’t hyper-independence – it’s interdependence built on countercultural trust in God.”

Jessica emphasises that true romantic intelligence requires courageous vulnerability and a willingness to embrace both masculine and feminine roles in a relationship. She believes that, when approached biblically, dating can reflect God’s design for healthy, interdependent partnerships.

“My prayer is that every godly man finds a woman who actually sees him – not just his resume or potential – and every woman finds a man who knows how to lead her heart without controlling her,” Jessica says. “That’s the rhythm of divine partnership.”

Her approach to courtship is countercultural, challenging modern dating norms and showing Christians how to date prayerfully, confidently, and with purpose. DATEABILITY focuses on building character, emotional maturity, and spiritual discernment, rather than simply finding someone who “checks off all the boxes.”

Shaping the Future of Christian Relationships: Jessica’s Personal Story

Jessica’s work has personal resonance because she lives what she teaches. After struggling with anxious attachment for years as a single girl, she met her husband Tom, with whom she now has two young sons in Sydney. Her journey toward emotional maturity and spiritual discernment led her to build a family that mirrors the biblical design for marriage, a partnership grounded in emotional safety, drive to impact others beyond themselves, and accountability to Christ. 

She believes that godly marriages can be a testimony to the world and the next generation. Her passion for restoring the culture of courtship is reflected not just in her teachings, but in her own marriage and family.

“Feminism taught women to out-achieve men, but not how to inspire them. I’m here to rewrite that script,” Jessica says. Her work will feel anti-feminist; but it’s actually pro-family, believing that strong, emotionally whole parents are the key to raising the next generation of believers who will thrive in God’s kingdom.

DATEABILITY’s National Impact: Helping Christians Rebuild the Culture of Courtship

Through her coaching programs and matchmaking services, Jessica has already facilitated 13 successful marriages, and her online community of over 6,000 followers continues to grow. She has worked with high-performing professionals, influencers, and everyday believers, providing guidance that has helped them find and sustain healthy, God-centred marriages.

What sets Jessica apart is her ability to combine emotional maturity with biblical wisdom, helping singles discern true compatibility and build covenant love. She’s helping people get out of the hookup culture and back into faith-based relationships that honour God.

Ready to Begin Your Journey? Connect with Jessica Santosa Carlton and DATEABILITY Today

If you’re a Christian single seeking to date intelligently and build a lasting, godly marriage, DATEABILITY offers the coaching, matchmaking, and spiritual guidance you need. 

Ladies, start with the $97 version of Jessica’s Romantic Intelligence 101 program at www.dateabilitycoaching.com which puts you on the matchmaking list immediately

OR

Gentlemen - connect with her for personal matchmaking services designed for high-calibre Christian singles across Australia by emailing her at jessica@dateability.io.

Follow DATEABILITY on Instagram, listen to the Smart Lovers Podcast on Spotify, and start your journey toward a lasting relationship rooted in faith today. 

You can also tune into Bridges of Belief Podcast on YouTube or watch Jamie Zhu’s Vlog Feature on YouTube for more insights into her revolutionary approach to faith-based matchmaking.